Worked from home because my back wouldn't straighten up.  In addition, I was chilled and hot, had no appetite, no energy.  I thought the symptoms were strange for a pretty nice day.

On a different note, I decided I would attend the intoduction session to the "Experiencing God" class at Fairhaven.  More on this later.

Once again I worked from home, this time because I was chilled and hot, had no appetite, no energy, big headache, and my urine was dark yellow.  "When you've been through hell, you learn to recognize the demons."

I requested an unscheduled blood test and later found that my hemoglobin had dripped to 12.1 - slightly low but nothing to worry about.  A normal hemoglobin count ranges from 13 - 18.  I also went to see my doctor about my backpain but I had an ulterior motive.  I wanted him to check me for symptoms of hemolysis.  A urine analysis showed that everything was fine.  I relayed this information to my nurse at Lacks Cancer Center.

Later that night I got a low grade fever and my urine turned a dark amber.  In addition, I experienced severe chills and sweats.  I counted the hours until morning when I would call Lacks Cancer Center with my symptoms.

I woke up weak, chilled, and with a wicked headache.  I called my nurse at Lacks Cancer Center by 9:00 am and told her of my new symptoms.  She said she would contact my hematologist and get back to me - typical protocol.  At 1:00 pm, my nurse called back and said she wanted to run some tests at Lacks if I could get there by 4:00 pm.  Jan took off work and drove me because I was so weak.  This was the worst I have felt since my bout with Evans Syndrome three years ago.

After we got to Lacks and they took a blood and urine specimen, I was so weak that I almost collapsed on the floor.  They made me lay down and gave me oxygen before I felt decent again.  They ended up admitting me to St Mary's Hauenstein Center because Lacks was full.  My hemoglobin had dropped to 8.5 in about 32 hours.  My eyes started turning yellow as was my skin color.  I was told that things would have been critical if I did not recognize the symptoms as early as I did.

I got a decent night's rest after getting fluids and large dosages of steroids.  However my hemoglobin levels continued to drop through the morning.  By afternoon, they hit 7 and I was given 2 units of blood.  The second unit seemed to give me a slight back ache but I was told they did not see any problems.

Before I got the news that I would need the blood transfusions, a new nurse's aid came in and introduced herself.  She had never worked on my floor but was needed due to an absence.  Deshawn was an African-American lady in her mid-twenties with a very big smile and a very effervescent personality.

She noticed my book "Experiencing God" and started asking questions.  I told her that I was taking a class and whenever I did anything at my church, Satan would punish me.  My class started Monday and by Wednesday I was in the hospital.  I told her I was considering giving up.

That young lady started to scold me!  She said that God had a plan for my life and judging by the severity of Satan's blows, God has a really big plan for my life.  It was interesting to note that a complete stranger was telling me my inner-most thoughts.

She said that she had a prayer cloth she had brought to work because a visiting pastor at her church had consecrated a number of these cloths.  She said that she would return at the end of her shift to pray with me.  As she was leaving her phone rang.

She returned a short time later and told me that she had been reassigned to another floor.  She brought her prayer cloth and we both held it as she prayed over me.  Her prayer was filled with such power and authority that I was amazed at the words coming from this young lady.  Uncontrollably, rivers of tears poured from my eyes.  She said that the Holy Spirit was bringing healing and peace to my body.

Our paths had crossed by an impossible chance.  Neither of us were supposed to be at that particular place at that particular time.  That is why I believe she was an angel sent to comfort me.  I have never seen her before and I may never see her again.

My back pain became pretty bad today but my hemoglobin count had risen to 9.1.  There was talk of releasing me from the hospital if my numbers stabilized.  I had to be given a really powerful drug to ease the throbbing pain in my back which worked great.  However, after a couple of hours it made me very nauseous.  Thus they gave me something else to help with the nausea which made me very sleepy.  At this point I told them to just go back to Vicodin (a version without Tylenol).

The day started with more bad news.  My hemoglobin count had dropped to 6.3 over night.  Very disappointing.  I got another unit of blood and got moved to Lacks Cancer Center.  Today my feet hurt and my legs felt like they were swollen. 

We took a walk in the healing garden which is located on the top floor of Lacks.  That is a very peaceful place - part of it is outside.  It was nice to breathe fresh air again.

I have to admit that my spirits took a bit of a beating today.  I think the fact that my feet hurt is my major concern.  At least my back did not hurt today.  Thank God for the distractions of college football and playing cards with my girls.

My hemoglobin count came in low again today - 6.9.  That meant that I needed another two units of blood.  I suspect that one of the units of blood which I got on Thursday was not completely compatible.  That may suggest why my back hurt so badly.  The pain must have been by body rejecting the new blood. 

Once again I found myself battling the demons in my mind.  My eyes seemed to tell me that the future looks bleak but my mind keeps going back to the words my angel said.  "Do not trust the sight of your eyes, trust only God's living word."  Also, "Satan is hitting you very hard.  That means he is trying to thwart God's plans.  By the looks of things they must be very big plans."

I really don't know how I would have held up to this point without Deshawn's prayer.  I finished the end of the day with a hemoglobin count of 7.7.  If things stabilize, even though the number is low, I hope they let me go home tomorrow.

It was a very busy day today.  First Pastor Pugh came to visit me then Calling Pastor Heneveld came also.  The Lacks medical care team also paraded in to introduce themselves.  I had new nurses and many different people show up in my room for many reasons.  Jan and Wayne Weller also came to visit.  I had many prayers spoken over me today.  I was not bored.

I was told that, despite the blood transfusions, my hemoglobin count continued to drop after a brief rise.  By early afternoon my hemoglobin count had again dropped to 6.4.  This was very disappointing.  Thoughts of despair naturally ran through my mind.  Other than that, I still felt fine.

In the afternoon they had to change my IV tube.  They told me they sent me the very best person they had but she could not start a new IV due to the present condition of my veins.  Thus, they decided to put in a port where they can give me blood and take samples without poking me again.  The procedure of putting the port in was intimidating but it did not hurt as I thought it would.

When I returned to my room after the port was inserted, my heart started to race and my throat seemed to close up.  It was very scary, but was probably due to my low oxygen level and stress.  They were about to do an EKG but then decided that it would be unnecessary. 

They gave me two units of blood today.  In fact, the transfusion won't be completed until around 11:00 pm.  The results will appear in tomorrow's post.  Again, prayer is critical here.

Last night my nightly prayers turned somewhat odd.  I had a vision of being in what seemed to be the spiritual realm.  It was dark like the night sky with pinpoints of scattered light like very distant stars.  Although I had nothing in my hands, it was as if I had a large shield in my left hand and a large sword in my right hand.  A dark, fierce force was battering the shield but I was too afraid to use the sword against this unseen enemy.  I just cowered behind the shield and called on God for help.  Just then, a noise in the hallway interrupted the vision.

Perhaps I really saw a vision - I don't know.  I am not on any hallucinogenic drugs.  This sort of falls in line with what my angel, Deshawn, said to me:  1. Never give up, 2. Don't trust your eyes, trust only God's word, 3. Journal everything.

No visitors today during business hours.  Just my nurse checking up on me periodically.  It was nice and quiet and gave me time to think.  My mind can't help but wonder what it means that I did not use the large sword in my vision.  Perhaps I must sharpen my faith to beat this evil monster which torments me.  I feel that this is a purely spiritual battle - the things taking place in this room are irrelevant.  The angel said that God had big plans for me so things will not end here.  But what am I supposed to do?  How will I get out of here?  Am I being a spiritual wimp?

I have put together a simple guest book at Billie Jo's suggestion.  It gave me a goal which kept me focused on my situation while at the same time distracted me.  I have not been able to concentrate on work stuff.  My mind is elsewhere if you can believe that.  The Ativan and Benedril are not helping my concentration.

More bad news today.  My hemoglobin had dropped to 6.6 by mid-afternoon so I got two more units of blood.  Tomorrow I start a chemotherapy treatment.  I pray that will start my full recovery although it may take time to see the full results.  I will be happy if I can just go home this week.  This is putting a great deal of stress on Jan and the kids.

Thanks again to everyone who sent e-mail or called.  They were the highlight of my day.  The steroids have taken my voice again so it is hard to understand me over the phone.  Please keep the prayers coming.

Right after I finished writing this I went into a time of prayer.  I started with the Lord's Prayer and never finished.  I found myself in a beautiful, blissful place full of peace and light.  It is hard to describe.  I made myself face my shame and pick up the large white sword which was previously black.  I ordered Satan to flee in the name of Jesus.  As I was commanding Satan to flee, terrible images were coming into my mind to distract me.  I kept commanding him to leave in a loud voice as the images got stronger.  Finally, I physically went into an uncontrollable cough which must have lasted several seconds.  When the coughing was over, peace came over me.  It was then that something urged me to write this down.

The room is perfectly quiet and I now find myself at peace.  I was tense all day and my jaw hurt from clenching my teeth.  I know that this sounds fabricated but I assure you it is not.  I almost resisted the urge to write this down.  However, I keep recalling Deshawn's words commanding me to journal everything.

Today started with even more bad news.  Nothing is working.  I can't even keep track of the blood numbers as they jump around.  I got a huge dose of Prednisone, a 4-hour Ritaxan drip and a 1-hour drip of Cytaxan.  The two that sound like toxins really are.  Those are my chemotherapy treatments (but probably spelled wrong).  I have never had Cytaxan but I understand that it isn't very kind.  Thank God I only need one treatment of that.  So far so good.

God gave me some surprises today to brighten my day - visits and calls from people I did not expect.  Some were people from work who I hardly know but just took the time to drop me an encouraging note.  Pam, a lady from my church who I know little about, stopped by and prayed with me.  She is an incredible, God-filled lady.  Also, my cousin, Bishop Joe Grech from Australia called to pray with me and encourage me.  All of this must be what Jesus meant when He said, "If you do it to the least of these, you do it to me."  Thanks everyone.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of all though, was a visit from "my nurse" who works only in the outpatient clinic at Lacks.  I referred to her on September 15th but I will not identify her.  She took the time to come check on me after an already long and busy day with other patients.  Over the past three years this wonderful lady has taken care of me when I was an outpatient there.  I think I will be seeing more of her in the near future.  Once again, I thank God for people like her.

In spite of a pretty rough day, God has shown me the goodness in people.  I can't forget to mention my wife who stood by me and my brother called and encouraged me.  He thinks I should not be telling people about my "visions".  Hey, I report them as I see them - orders from my angel.

Today was a pretty rough day.  No energy and my feet still hurt.  My voice is all but gone and I lay here in my little prison.  I saw no visions but can feel the presence of angels watching over me.  Good thing.  I need all the help I can get.  I can't even get into computer stuff if you can believe that.

Jan came by, naturally, and we went up to the healing garden on Lack's roof.  She had to wheel me up there but I walked around a tiny bit.  That is a beautiful, and relaxing place.  To my surprise, it was hot and humid up there.  We had a very deep conversation.  It is not as easy being a wise guy when facing something this serious.

The chemo treatments appeared to stabilize me initially, but everything tanked by 9:00 pm.  I am not even sure of my numbers anymore but they have dropped below 6.  It took several hours to get me more blood because it had to come from Saginaw.

Sorry I didn't have anything profound to say about today.  No visions, angels, or dreams.  I can't make that stuff up.  I am just not that creative.  I just lay here and try to learn the purpose for all this.  "It does not end here!"

Today was a very bad day.  For the first time,  I was starting to doubt the outcome.  The chemo made me weak and I could not even eat or drink.  My hemoglobin had dropped into the 4-range.  I did not catch the exact number because of the panic in my head.  They gave me two units of blood through the night.  It was a miserable day and night. 

A few people whom I did not expect dropped by and boosted my spirits.  Even when you are at your lowest point, a friendly smile does good.  I guess all that stuff you learn in church is really valuable.  In the future, I will make it a point to reach out to those who are in need.

My hemoglobin dropped some today but I did not feel as badly as yesterday.  I slept and watch football all day - although the Wolverines were not on TV at the hospital.  Jan was here all day and then I was surprised by a visit from my brother.

I got another two units of blood and was surprised by a hint of appetite.  Earlier in the day, when I was informed of the number drop, I was given Ativan for stress.  However, I think the change in my attitude happened when I asked Jan to pray over me.  This is not something she typically does.  I could feel the love and power flowing from her hand on my head.  I believe that is the reason for my change today.

Let me start by apologizing for the incorrect dates on the previous posts  They are fixed now.  It is getting hard to keep the days straight as I lay here day after day.  I want to thank everyone who called, texted, visited, e-mailed, sent messages on Facebook, etc.  You never really know who cares about you until you are down.  I think that the most special messages came from people I did not even know that well.  I don't want to get mushy but it means more to me than you'll ever know.

I am getting my appetite back slowly from the chemotherapy.  I am also starting to feel a little better although I am still very weak.  It seems that the hemoglobin drops are becoming smaller each day.  I hope they stabilize any day so I can go home.

I can feel the healing power from the many prayers I have received.  I have come to appreciate the power of prayer as more than just something one says to be kind.  There is a power present that we do not really understand - at least I can't say I understand it.  Nevertheless, it is there!  Without it, there is no hope.

I guess there is not much else to say without getting incredibly philosophical on you.  Please keep praying for me because that is my ticket home.  God will rescue me although I don't see how.  But then, that is how we will know that He did it!  Really looking forward to the celebration!  To God be the glory!

Today, I woke up depressed and discouraged.  The hospital staff actually let me sleep in because I had to have another couple of late night blood transfusions.  More of the same!  I opened my blinds to see the start of a pretty morning - but what of it?  My computer was not responding so I had to wait for the endless reboot process.  In the meantime, I started praying to God for any unforgiveness which may have been lingering in my heart - advice I had gotten from my friends Pam and Jan.  As I dug up every offense ever hurled my my way since childhood and repented of any bitterness, I felt relatively sure that I had covered everything.  Just then came a startling voice which said, "Ready to serve my Lord!".

I almost fell out of bed.  All of my computers have been programmed to say that for years upon boot up.  I just never stick around to hear it.  The timing of the phrase stirred something within me.  Yes, I felt ready to serve my King just then.

I turned on the TV and started surfing through the endless crap pouring out from it.  Nothing is positive.  Nothing will help a sick person, such as myself, heal or find comfort.  Just then it hit me that the TV was just like the blasphemous voice pouring out of the tapestry in my vision on September 21.  I wept aloud!  It seems that God is trying to tell me something, and this is it!  (Perhaps, at some point I may try to explain the September 21 vision in detail.  However, my writing skills are not that great and it was very surreal.) 

I have started writing some ideas down and connecting the dots of everything which has been happening to me  but I will have to see where God leads me with all of this.  If it is his plan it cannot fail.

My hemoglobin count came in at 7.4 this morning and I was pleased.  Jan took the day off and helped me refocus my mind.  In the afternoon, I got even better news.  My hemoglobin count had climbed to 7.9.  I was ecstatic.  I am even walking around the hallways a bit at an incredibly slow pace.

I just got the evening report, my hemoglobin came in at 7.1.  A little disappointing but not bad.  I pray that God may send that number upward again overnight.  Satan has a way of lying to us to steal God's victory.  I don't plan on letting him do that.  Please pray to break Satan's lies and let God's healing continue in my body.

The day started with not the greatest of news.  My hemoglobin had dropped to 6.4.  Since we now have a standing rule of not transfusing until it drops to 6.0, I had to play the waiting game again.  Jan had to work today so it was a solo mission.  However, I made up my mind to fight back.  Sure I had to take it lying down but nothing said I had to do it quietly.  After all, I could sense angels all over this room and the power of the most high God surging through my body.

I got out of bed, washed myself to the best of my ability, rested, ordered breakfast, rested, ate breakfast, rested, read e-mail and prayed, and of course, rested again.  I even made myself do some simple exercises while lying down.  However, I did not need anyone's help.

Pastor Heneveld stopped by during the day and offered some words of encouragement.  That certainly helped my spirit.  It is an incredible calling that people like he have.

After lunch I learned that my hemoglobin count had risen to 6.6 - a small victory!  I tried to rest but my mind was constantly churning and construction on the floor below me prevented that.  So I decided that I would kick my brain into gear and try to do some work.  Things were a bit fuzzy at first but started to make sense by late afternoon.  I actually got a couple of hours of work in.  I was so excited!

Jan came by and we had dinner together.  Afterwards, I actually walked - no wheelchair - to the healing garden upstairs (ok an elevator was involved).  I even got passed by an old man using a cane.  By the end of the day, my hemoglobin count hung steady at 6.6!  That might not sound great, but it was a major victory!

I know many will roll their eyes, but I could sense a holy presence around me all day.  Whenever I felt the urge to lay around in self pity, something kept commanding me to get up and do something else.  It was peaceful here today - in a boot camp sort of way.  I hope tomorrow is at least as victorious as today was.

Today was not a nice day!  My hemoglobin count had dropped to 6.0 but, since the threshold was not crossed, no blood transfusions were scheduled.  So far, so good.

Since I had to have my second round of chemotherapy today, I was first given a big dose of Benedril (standard procedure) first thing in the morning.  That made me sleep through the whole infusion and I awoke in the afternoon.  Later tests showed that my count had further dropped to 5.7 so I had to have more blood transfusions.  Of course, that meant more Benedril through the evening.

I tried to get some work done in the afternoon but the clouds in my head wouldn't let me make much progress.  Tomorrow will be a better day.  I plan on stabilizing and being home on Saturday to watch college football from the comfort of my easy chair.  It is good to have goals.

Sorry I didn't have anything profound to say today.  Maybe when the fog lifts, I can see the sunshine again.  In the meantime, thank you for the e-mails, texts, calls, etc.  They are my lifeline.  Please keep the prayers coming.  They are my only ticket home - and I am packing my things.

At 3:00 AM, my nurse had to wake me with the news:  my hemoglobin count had soared to 8.6!  That will not break any health records but I was thrilled.  It was hard to get sleep after that kind of news so I had to ask for Ativan.

In the morning, I saw the sunshine!  I am sure it has been sunny at least some of the time in the past two weeks but I surely had not noticed.  My hematologist said that if I could stay above 7.5 he would send me home.  I think I asked him to repeat that around three times.

I e-mailed my prayer warrior friends with the news that I needed a prayer surge.  By 10:00 am, my hemoglobin count climbed to 9.0!  At the final check at 3:00 pm, my count had settled at 8.3.  Thus, I am writing this from the comfort of my easy chair.

I have a long way to go before I am fully recovered.  However, I can't help but be overwhelmed by the healing power of prayer.  I know there will be much gossip and talk about what I have posted here.  Everything I have written, and much more I have not, really did happen.  I believe that I experienced something that extremely few ever do.  In church, they use the cliché, "tried in the fire".  I believe that I have gone through that fire and I am still cooking.  I would be surprised if one or two of you would actually believe my story if I can tell you personally.  It is too surreal to believe myself.  However, it happened!

I will consider posting more or I may journal privately from now on.  The posts will be of an intensely personal nature from here in.  I believe that God sent me an angel to warn me of an impending test of my soul.  The visions were divine visions, not dreams or hallucinations.  You can argue that among yourselves.  And without Deshawn, I believe I would be dead right now.

It was nice waking up in my own bed.  I had to get a blood test first thing in the morning.  Fortunately, St Mary's has a lab walking distance from my house.  The phlebotomists there all know me from the past three years.  However, they were surprised at my present condition since I normally breeze in and out before work on a fairly regular basis.  Today, Jan wheeled me in for my blood test.

Since the blood samples are shipped to St Mary's hospital far analysis, I had to wait several hours for the results.  My hemoglobin count had come in at 8.4.  Everything seems to be holding.

Jan's brother and his wife came and did a lot of work I was not able to do.  My nephew and his girlfriend even dropped by to help.  What makes that really special is that none of them live in the area.  That is a very humbling experience.  The goodness in people just keeps overwhelming me.  A very special thanks to them.

While there was great comfort in being at home today, there was also anxiety about the uncertainty of my situation.  I saw things which must be done but did not have the energy to do them.  Once again, patience and priorities rule the day.  The good Lord is moving us forward.  It is both scary and thrilling to let God provide on a minute-by-minute basis.

Today started as a relaxing day watching college football at home as I had hoped it would.  I felt weak but good.  Jan's sister and my niece came and helped the girls get ready for Homecoming.  I could do little more than sit in a chair and watch.  At least I was home.

When the time came to take the girls to Homecoming, Satan struck again.  First Jan's car wouldn't start, then the electrical system seized and would not release the key from the ignition.  Of course, I did not have the energy to even walk out to the car to investigate.  I am sure my outstanding mechanical skills could have saved the day.

Once again, we continue to live by faith.  Jan used my car to take the girls to Homecoming.  On Monday, we will have to see where we can get the car fixed. 

Satan appears to continue attacking me while I am at my weakest.  He never relents and neither will I.  It is written, "Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world."  If God really has a plan for me, I cannot fail.

I felt a lot better today as far as having more energy.  The day still consisted of sitting in my easy chair and napping -  but one day at a time right?  I could move slowly between rooms although my feet really hurt.  Maybe it is a side-effect of my chemotherapy.  I will ask my doctor tomorrow.

One really unusual thing happened today.  If this does not make you roll your eyes, nothing will.  Since I could not go to church, I had planned on watching Joel Osteen on TV which comes on at 8:00 am.  At exactly 8:00 am, a crow started cawing loudly outside my window.  At first, it bothered me that this bird woke me up until I noticed the time.  As soon as I turned on the TV, the bird flew away.  Joel's message was to never speak badly of yourself.  That is something I had been doing all of my life.  Perhaps it was a message I had to hear.

Today was supposed to be a routine day. Jan stayed home to take me to my doctor appointment. I called a tow truck early in the day so we could get the car fixed beforehand. However, Satan had other plans.

The tow truck never showed up after waiting all morning and we had to leave for Lacks Cancer Center. We had to reschedule the tow truck for the afternoon. At the hospital, my doctor was delayed and we waited for 90 minutes. We barely got back home in time to meet the tow truck. Fortunately, our car just had a dead battery but we had to replace the battery before turning off the ignition. Thus, Jan went and had one replaced.

The news only got worse as the day wore on. Apparently, my hematologist read the previous blood report. My number had not stayed the same after all. It had dropped back down to 6.4. Jan had to rearrange her day again tomorrow to take me back down to Lacks.

I just keep remembering Deshawn's words to me. Don't trust what you see or hear. God has a plan for you. I can only cling to these words. Although I am at home and comfortable, I am still waiting for God to deliver me from this evil which has gripped me. Pease don't stop praying for me.

Because of yesterday's hemoglobin level, Jan had to take me to Lacks for my blood test in case I needed a blood transfusion.  If my number was 6.4 or below I would have needed blood.  I got a 6.5 so we got to go home again.

It was a beautiful day.  Although I was not any better than yesterday, today I felt good.  I got four solid hours of work done and even managed to catch up on bills and mail.  It was the most productive day for me in three weeks.

Once again, calls and texts from people I did not expect brightened my day.  I never cease to be amazed by that.  In fact, the day itself was an outright gift from God.  While my blood numbers remained the same as yesterday, my general feeling and attitude were light years better. 

Tomorrow I get my third chemotherapy treatment.  Please keep me in your prayers as always.  You have no idea how much strength I draw from them.

I had my third chemo treatment today.  As usual, they had to give me a large dose of Benedril which made me feel drugged all day.  Between that and the chemo, I felt like someone beat me up again.  My hemoglobin number came in at 6.2.  Once again, my doctor chose not to give me a blood transfusion.  My body seems to be holding its own, even though it is at a very low level.

Tomorrow morning I willl get another blood test.  If the result comes in below 6.0 I will finally need another blood transfusion.  Although I really want my hemoglobin level to rise quickly, I would prefer that my body did it naturally.  That will tell me that God is finally healing me.  No more artificial jumps.

I had a strange dream last night that my healing was a done deal.  Immediately, I sensed the devil telling me that he would fight me all the way.  However, if God is for me, who dares stand against me.  Please continue praying for me and encouraging me.  One day soon I will  stand before many people and again testify to the incredible love and healing power of God.  The first time was just a rehearsal compared to this.  I know that God will accomplish something powerful through all of this.  I just happen to be the guy standing in the way trying to join Him in His work.

Another day, another blood test.  However, this one was different.  Jan took me to the nearby lab then went to work, leaving me alone at home for the first time since I got sick.  If my hemoglobin number dropped below 6.0, she would have had to take me to Lacks for a blood transfusion in the afternoon.  At 9:00 AM, I found out that my munber was 6.2, low but still holding.  Thank God.

I spent the day taking it as easy as possible while getting some work done.  It was actually a pretty productive day.  It is amazing how the good Lord helps one to cope with seemingly impossible situations.  I barely have the energy to get out of bed, but God has blessed me with a job where I can still contribute flat on my back.  I am counting my blessings.  One day soon I will stand before many people and tell them about the greatness of my God.  I have always hated public speaking and have kept my faith to myself.  But in this case, I cannot keep silent.

Today, I had another blood test like yesterday.  After Jan went to work I found out the result: 6.3.  My hemoglobin count had risen a tenth of a point.  Once again I gave thanks for a small victory.  The progress isn't exciting but I am finally holding my own.  The healing has begun.

I started feeling better and made a few attempts to slowly walk around the house.  I also attempted a few simple stretching exercises in order to start getting my body back into shape.  A month of non-use really takes its toll.  All the while, I had to self-monitor my breathing and heart rate.  At my hemoglobin level, I could lose control very quickly.

I am starting to get into a pattern of resting and working so I do not go mad while being stuck alone at home.  Television is worthless so I much prefer to work.  It makes me feel useful while giving my mind a challenge.  Speaking on the phone still tires me out though.  It is amazing how much oxygen that uses.  However, nothing uses oxygen like stress.  I try to avoid anything stressful, including the news.  Those who know me well know I am a real news junkie.

I am encouraged by the words of James 1:12 which state, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

Today was just an ordinary day.  I just watched football and hockey all day.  I don't have any new information regarding my condition.  I feel OK - all things considered.  I am very weak but I can feel ever so slight improvements each day.  I wish my numbers will start backing that up soon.

Jan, grandpa, and the girls went to the Grandville Band Competition in the afternoon so I was left alone to try to rest.  After a brief rest, some loud childern in the area made that impossible.  Oh well, that is to be expected on a beautiful day like today.  After a while, a small voice in my head instructed me to read and pray.  It seemed as good a time as any.  As soon as I started, there was silence.  The children went away.  Once again it seemed that whenever I responded to the Spirit's call, things out of my control fell into place.

Today was another day of waiting with very little energy.  With no blood tests, there was no feedback as to how I was progressing.  There is absolutely nothing to write about today. 

Today my hemoglobin count came in at 6.8.  It appears to have begun a very slow climb, just a tenth of a point or two at a time.  I will take what I can get.  I have heard faith and patience called the "power twins".  I need them both in my corner.

Pastor Harvey came to visit today and his timing was perfect.  He called immediately after I awoke from a much needed morning nap.  I am not sleeping very well at night due primarily to the steroids I am taking.

I have started walking around the house a bit.  I am really tired of reclining all day.  My goal is to strenghtn my legs again.  It is amazing how weak they have become from a month of non-sue and steroids.

Today's Bible Verse:  MATT 6:33-34
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. 

Today was the day!  My hemoglobin number hit 7.1.   Blood transfusions are typically done when hemoglobin counts drop below 7.0.  My threshold was set at 6.0 because I was requiring so much blood.  Today I rose above the critical level.  If my count will now double, I will be normal.

Last night I had a disturbing dream.  I dreamed that I was peacefully sleeping and a disturbing voice kept telling me to relax and let go.  I could blissfully slip into death and nothing would bother me again.  I commanded the voice to stop and told it that my angel, Deshawn, had told me that God had big plans for me.  If I died, I would disobey God and never see what He had planned.  This woke me up and I had trouble sleeping again afterward.

It seems that the forces of evil have not let up.  I know this seems unbelievable but this stuff is too weird to make up.  I think I am learning to live one day at a time with God providing my every breath.  Believe me, it is not easy but it is necessary.  These are not things I thought I would ever say to anyone.  In fact, such things never seriously crossed my mind.  However, they are now my reality.

Today's Bible Verse:  James 5:11
As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

Today I had my fourth chemotherapy treatment.  Again I felt beat up afterward but that is now to be expected.  The good news for the day was that my hemoglobin count had risen to 7.5.  A month ago I would have been terrified by that number.  Today I was thrilled.

In spite of my chemotherapy treatment today, I managed to work for five hours.  I started early before the drugs started, snoozed a good long time, then managed to get more accomplished afterward.  It was very rewarding.

The Prayer of Faith  James 5:13-17
Is any one of you in trouble?  He should pray.  Is anyone happy?  Let him sing songs of praise.  Is any one of you sick?  He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.  If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.   Please do not stop praying for me.  Your prayers are working.  Thank you.

My hemoglobin count today was 7.6 - another tenth of a point increase.  Progress is coming, but it is coming slowly. Once again, faith and patience are the keys.  God will heal me on His schedule not mine.  In the meantime, I must count my many blessings and press on.

I was able to work for five hours today - including a couple of conference calls.  That is starting to help me feel normal.  However, I am feeling really tired at the end of the day.  Maybe it will help me sleep better.

I left the house today on a non-medical trip for the first time since the beginning of September.  Jan took me to get my hair cut which had been long overdue.  The lady who cuts my hair stayed late so no one was in her salon.  She knew I could not be exposed to people.  She said she would have stayed that late anyway but I know she did it just for me.  Her name is Becky and her salon is Hair Etc in Grandville.  If you are looking for a hair salon, I recommend her's.

The devil is still jabbing away at me even as I write this.  At 11:00 pm, Emma is working on a project, Jan is helping her find graphics, and I am writing in my journal.  The internet is in heavy use.  Naturally, it stopped working.  That never happens.  It even took out our phone because it also goes through our cable modem.

I had to use my cell phone to contact Comcast technical support about the problem.  After some diagnostics, we managed to reset the modem and get back online.  If it were a bigger issue, I would not have been able to work or communicate with people tomorrow.

Once again I thank God for helping me through yet another attack.  On a night where I wanted to go to bed early, another problem surfaced.  I just recalled the Bible verse, "I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me."

It took a while to get my lab results today but it was worth the wait. My hemoglobin hit 8.1 today. Praise God! I actually felt better today. I took more walks around the house and my legs are starting to hurt less. However, I still only have the energy to the most basic things like going to the kitchen and getting a drink or simple snack.

I had another strange dream last night. I dreamed I was in Jerusalem walking around in the town square when a policeman told me to get inside before (some Jewish word) happened. After I got inside, bombs started to fall and there was gunfire. Afterward, thousands of Arabs with swords and battering rams tore through the building. Thousands of people were fighting in the streets with swords flashing and bodies falling everywhere. I got carried away by the flood of humanity. I was sure that I would be killed. However, I ended up being protected by the many bodies which fell on top of me.

At 5:00 pm, a siren sounded and the Arabs retreated. Those who could get up went inside for refreshments. I immediately started packing my things to leave town before this took place again the following day.

I saw my father laughing at me as I was frantically packing to leave. (My father has been dead for ten years). He said he just watches it every day from his house now but does not go outside. It was strange seeing my father’s face after all this time. I was left wondering what all this meant.
 

Today there was no blood test so I have no update.  I spent the entire day watching football, hockey, and working on my website.  I walked around the house periodically in order to try to get back to being a little bit normal.  My legs are starting to gain a little strength.

Jan went to see the girls' band competition so I was home alone a good portion of the day.  Not much happened today.

Please continue to pray for my healing.  I have such a long way to go and sometimes it seems like I am all alone in this fight.  I know there are many of you earnestly praying on my behalf and I thank you.  You have no idea how much strenght I draw from your prayers and words of encouragement.

Another Sunday in my own bed.  For the third week in a row I woke up at exactly 8:00 am without an alarm clock.  The remarkable thing about that is that I wanted to watch Joel Osteen at 8:00 am since I could not go to church.  Once again, his message seemed directed at me.

I felt good today.  I could do things for myself today without Jan's constant supervision.  I showered, got my own breakfast, and even brought Jan a cup of coffee in bed.  It felt incredible to do something, anything for someone else for a change.  I am so tired of laying around and have people waiting on me.  Today I walked around more and even went outside and sat on the front steps to soak in some sunlight.  That felt wonderful.

I really believe that God has finally healed me.  Now I just have to wait for the medical numbers to catch up.  My body is still very weak but I can feel ever so slight improvements physically.  Tomorrow I see my hematologist and get another blood test.  Hopefully the numbers continue to rise so that my doctor can start decreasing my level of steroids.

Please pray that my hemoglobin level continues to increase and that my body continues to get stronger.  Also pray that everything continues to heal as the steroids are gradually reduced.  Thank you.

Today started of really well.  I spent a good productive morning working and I felt really good.  In the afternoon I had an appointment to see my hematologist.  My hemoglobin number came in at 8.5 today.  As a result, I was able to lower my Prednisone level from 160 mg to 140 mg per day.  If I can at least maintain my current level, my doctor plans to gradually decrease my Prednisone to 80 mg daily.  That should help me with all that is bothering me.  Please pray that my hemoglobin level continues to rise while my Prednisone decreases.

Satan does not like good news!  After my doctor appointment, they Envoy would not start again despite having a brand new battery.  I had enough energy to help Jan jump start it using our Malibu.  However, the anti-lock brake sensor stayed on and the car was making a humming sound.  I decided that we take it to the dealer while it was still open.  Jan and I rode in the Envoy while Emma and Anna followed in the Malibu. 

At the dealer, while they were checking out the Envoy, the girls stayed in the Malibu and played te radio while doing homework.  Jan and I chatted with the service advisor while they checked out the Envoy.  Apparently, the anti-lock brake computer shorted and was draining the battery.  It will cost $900 to replace and the parts should be available by Thursday.  In the meantime, they disabled the anti-lock brake mechanism so we can drive the car without draining the battery.

As we were about to leave, Emma bursts into the service center saying the Malibu would not start.  Apparently they drained the battery just by playing the radio.  (I was warned that the battery was getting weak during my last oil change.)  The garage jump started our battery and we were on our way with two less than healthy vehicles.  The plan was to drop the girls off at band practice and go to Sears and get a new battery for the Malibu.  Of course, Jan got to Sears just as the shop was closing.  Now we have to wait another day to get that job done.

Satan continues to hammer on us.  As I am believing God for my complete healing, the devil is trying different tatics to distract and harass.  I am standing firm on God's promise, "I know the plans I have for you.  Plans to prosper and not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future." 

I can use as much prayer as I can get from everyone.  I have never been under such a heavy assault in my life.  Perhaps I have been made more aware of spiritual things since my illness.  I can't help but recall Deshawn's words in all of this.  "The way Satan is attacking you, God must have some pretty big plans for you.  Don't you dare quit." 

Today was an ordinary day.  Since blood tests are now every other day, I didn't have a new hemoglobin number.  I managed to get seven hours of work done although it took me most of the day.  Jan and Emma brought the Elliptical Trainer up to the living room for me because I can't climb stairs.  I managed to use it for for under a half a minute before my energy was spent.  I have a long recovery ahead.

Jan got a new battery for the Malibu so our car woes are half over.  Hopefully, after Thursday, we will have the Envoy fixed and there will be no more surprises.

Today's hemoglobin number was 9.2.  Praise the Lord!  My next blood test will be on Friday.

The day started slowly.  I was tired today.  I took an hour nap in the morning and another hour nap in the afternoon.  Despite that, I managed to get 8 hours worth of work in.  Of course I started at 7:30 am and did not put work away until 7:30 pm.  I was motivated and just kept plugging away in short bursts.

I tried using the elliptical trainer today.  Wow, am I out of shape!  After several attempts, I managed to work myself up to two minutes of effort with no resistance and at extremely slow speed.  At least my muscles are starting to work again.

I continue to thank God for my healing and re-energizing my body.  I know I will make a complete recovery.  The numbers are slowly confirming what I believe.  Please don't stop praying for me.  You have no idea how important that is.

There was nothing special at all about today.  I felt tired all day.  I tried to work for eight hours today but only made six.  I think I stll need more rest.  Maybe I am pushing a bit too hard.  I plan on being in bed as soon as the Red Wings game is over.

Today, I was blown away!  My hemoglobin number came in at 9.7.  It has not been that high in over a month.  I moved around more today but I still tire easily and cannot climb stairs.  One thing at a time.

Last night I had another disturbing dream.  I dreamed that I was standing too close to a swing set at a park and the swing hit me in the head.  I fell down and and thought that the swing had broken my neck and paralyzed me.  I awoke in a panic and could not control my breathing.  The dream had triggered a panic attack.  I took an Ativan to calm me down (around midnight).  At 1:30 am, my heart was still pounding so I was forced to take another.  That finally calmed me down enough to get a good night's rest.

The devil still tortures me at night.  Although it is not as bad as it was, the attacks continue.  Still I recall Deshawn's words to me when all of this started.  "The way Satan is attacking you, God must have some pretty big plans for you.  Don't you dare quit."

Another Saturday, another day of mostly sitting and watching football and hockey.  It seems watching sports is more fun when you don't have all day to do it.  Stealing some time from a busy day to watch a sporting event just seems so much more rewarding.

Jan got the camper to storage with some help from our neighbor.  We also managed to winterize the sprinkler system.  I helped as much as I could but that was not much.  At least we managed to get those jobs done.

I felt good today.  I went outside and slowly walked around the back yard.  The hard parts were going down the little hill and, of course, coming back up afterward.  That was still much easier than going down and up all of those deck stairs.  I will not be ready for stairs for a while yet.  I did several laps around the yard with occasional breaks sitting on the swing and admiring the beautiful colors all around me.  It was quite a change from laying in bed or sitting in my recliner.  My legs really got a workout considering they have been idle since September 15th,

Tomorow I have another blood test scheduled.  I hope to break the 10 mark.  I can feel God's healing power flowing through my body.  I know I am already healed - I believe I am in a recovery phase now.  I will do my best to help things along, like exercising and getting plenty of rest.  However, the timing is all in God's hands.  I will walk with Him one day at a time and see what wonderful things He has in store for me.

Today's hemoglobin number was 9.6 - the same as on Friday.  That means that my Prednisone amount drops a little bit more..

I felt good again today.  I tried to get as much exercise and rest as I could.  I went outside and did five laps around the yard.  That may not sound like much but it was a small victory for me.  Even with rest and exercise time, I still managed to get eight hours of work in.  Of course I did not finish until 9:30 pm.  Then again, what else do I have to do?

Today was pretty ordinary and boring.  I felt tired all day today.  Maybe I wore myself out yesterday.  I spent most of the day napping and working.  After a slow start, I ended up putting in eight hours of work.  I have finally gotten around to writing code again. 

Sorry there is nothing exciting to write about.  In fact, each day seems more boring that the previous one.  Sometimes it is hard to see progress.  However, God is still in control and I am still moving forward whether I realize it or not.

Today was a great day.  It was a beautiful, although very windy, day.  I felt great all day.  When I got my lab results, my hemoglobin number came in at 10.2.

The only bad thing about today was that it was Jan's birthday and I could not take her out to dinner.  Instead, she and Anna went to watch Emma's Powderpuff game at the high school.

Today was yet another day with not much to say.  I got a lot done as far as work goes.  I felt good again and my energy level keeps increasing ever so slightly every day.  I have learned to thank God for every little improvement no matter how small it may seem.

Jan and I did absentee voting at City Hall because I will not be able to vote on Tuesday and Jan has conferences all day that day.  That was only the second time I had been in public, other than medical stuff, since September 15th.  My immune system is still compromised and it is now flu season.  I had to wear a mask.  That never fails to freak people out.

My hemoglobin count remained at 10.2 today.  My energy level seems to be getting a little better.  I walked around the yard a bit because I saw beautiful sunshine but it was cold outside.  I also did a little time on the Elliptical Trainer. 

The incresed oxygen in my blood is also enabling me to do more sophisticated work.  I am able to "get in the zone" again when writing code.  It had been a struggle to keep my concentration for extended periods of time.

This was another boring Saturday.  I watched football most of the day and tried to exercise as much as I could.  The girls had another band competition and Jan went to watch them.  Once again, there is nothing to say...except fire Rich Rodriguez.

Late in the day I had a small victory.  I was able to go downstairs unassisted and, of course, come back up.  I had been having difficulty managing the two steps into the house from the garage.  There are fourteen steps leading downstairs - but who's counting?

These insignificant things which we take for granted are the things for which we must thank God.  I had never thought that climbing stairs or taking a shower without assistance were anything special.  Take it from me, it is a big deal.

Today was Sunday and I awoke at 8:00 am sharp for the fourth week in a row.  That is very strange.  I had more energy today than I have had in a long time.  When Jan and the girls went to rake leaves, I went outside to help them.  I even walked down and eventually back up the deck stairs.  Anna and I drained and put away the hoses.  Actually, Anna did most of the work because my physical conditioning is still poor.  Still, it was satisfying to feel useful even if it was not much.

Tomorrow I hope to see an increase in my hemoglobin count.  Every day I pray for continued healing.  God has never let me down.  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

My hemoglobin count was 10.1 today - virtually no change from Friday.  As a result, I get to drop my steroid amount by a little more starting tomorrow.  While I wish my number had gone up, at least it did not go down. 

I spent the day writing code in VB.NET.  It felt great being fully involved in what I was doing.  That is a good thing because I have nothing else to do.  We have close to 200 channels of nothing to watch on TV.

Today was a good day.  I felt good and wrote code a good portion of the day.  I went outside and "helped" Emma mow the lawn.  OK, I just refueled the lawn mower.    I did, however, walk up and down the deck stairs and all around the yard.  It was good exercise.  I can feel my legs getting stronger every day.

I woke up today with a nagging headache which lasted most of the day.  Perhaps it was a change in the weather.  Staring at a laptop for most of the day did not help matters.

My hemoglobin count was 10.5 today - a rise of 0.4.  This was one of my largest increases without medical intervention.  I really believe that I have been healed from the disease and that I am simply in a recovery phase now.  Faith is calling things which are not as though they were.  However, the timing is not always as we would prefer because God may be accomplishing a larger kingdom purpose.

There was nothing special about today.  I did not have a blood test so I have no new information.  I just worked, rested, and exercised a little.

“In the beginning, Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth,
   and the heavens are the work of your hands. 
They will perish, but you remain;
   they will all wear out like a garment. 
You will roll them up like a robe;
   like a garment they will be changed.
But you remain the same,
   and your years will never end.
Hebrews 1:10-12

My hemoglobin count was 10.1 today - the same as Monday.  That is down from Wednesday's 10.5.  However, that is not necessarily bad news.  My reticulocyte percentage was 4.3 on Monday, 13.0 on Wednesday, and is back down to 5.4 today.   Perhaps this was due to the change in my Prednisone level on Tuesday.

Reticulocytes are made by the bone marrow and released into the blood.  They are in the blood for about 2 days before developing into mature red blood cells.  Normally, about 1% to 2% of the red blood cells in the blood are reticulocytes.

Please continue to pray for my continued healing.  I know that God has already healed me and this is nothing more than one of Satan's lies trying to distract me. 

No news today.  It was just another Saturday watching football.  I felt good but still do not have a lot of energy.

Since I had nothing to say today, I will just post a bible passage.

Boasting About Tomorrow

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.   James 4:13-17

I decided I would not bore you with needless chatter when I had nothing to say.  That is why there was no post yesterday.  I think this will be the new norm.

I had an appointment with my hematologist today.  As a part of that, I had another blood test.  Some of the news was good and some was not so good.  The good news is that the destruction of my hemoglobin seems to have stopped.  The not so good news is that my body is not replacing red blood cells as fast as it should. (Red blood cells die and are replaced as part of the body's natural cycle). My hemoglobin count dropped to 9.9 - still OK but going in the wrong direction.

My doctor noticed a heart palpitation and had me do an EKG and a special blood test. He does not know what it is and is just checking things out to be safe. My heart seems to skip a beat every few counts.  Apparently, this particular blood test is very rare.  I have to wait until they send some special tubes for it.  One of my phlebotomists said she had only done two in all the years she had been at Lacks. 

Please pray that my red blood cells will start to increase without medication and that there is nothing to the heart palpitation.

Today was a really good day. This was the best I have felt in a long time. My hemoglobin count was 10.3 and my platelets climbed to 238. I also feel stronger physically too. The healing is continuing but I do wish it was faster. However, God has His own timeline for my healing and I just need to be patient. He has never let me down.

I worked with only one long break today. It was as close to simulating a real work day as I have come in a long time. I think I am getting close to actually going to the office for part of a day. The main issue is my repressed immune system versus cold and flu season.

I was tired today.  I think I worked out too hard yesterday.  The 2.5 hour phone meeting I had this morning really wore me out.  My head hurt and my eyes were burning when it was over.  I really needed to rest afterward.

In the evening, I drove (by myself) to get a haircut.  Becky, at Hair Etc., once again made me her last appointment in order to minimize my contact with people.  It was the first time in two months that I drove somewhere by myself.  Jan went with Emma to Calvin College for a Scholar Reception otherwise I know she would have insisted on driving me.  It was nice to feel halfway normal.

Today, my hemoglobin count was 10.3 and my platelets climbed to 262.  Things seem to have stabilized but I wish they would stabilize in the normal range.  If my hemoglobin increases a bit more, I will be able to decrease my Prednisone a little bit more.

I am feeling a little better each day and the house is now starting to close in around me.  I have been trapped inside for two months.
 

After two months, we went to church today.  It felt good to be in a somewhat normal routine again.  It was scary to be in a room full of people.  I avoided almost everyone and wore gloves to avoid picking up contact germs.  I needed to rest after having to sit up in church.  In fact, I needed to rest in the morning after getting ready for church.  I guess I am not ready to go back to the office quite yet.  I am glad I can work from home.

Praise the Lord!  Today my hemoglobin measured at 11.1.  That is the highest it has been in two months.  As a result, I get to decrease my Prednisone by another 20mg.  That is more good news because I can feel the steroids dragging me down.

Last week, when I my hemoglobin numbers started going down unexpectedly, my first instinct was to increase prayer.  I called my prayer warriors Jan and Pam and let them know my situation.  My hemoglobin count stabilized by the next blood test then started increasing afterward. 

"Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."  Mark 11:24

"If two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."  Matt 18:19-20

Today was just another ordinary day except for one thing.  James dropped by with a gift from the guys at work.  The gift was a sword to remind me of the vision I had while I was in the hospital.  It was very cool.  Thanks a lot everyone.  I think I will hang it on a wall where I will see it every day.

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  EPH 6:16

Today, my hemoglobin count rose to 11.5.  I am starting to feel better but now the house has started closing in on me.  I must get out of this house!  I am looking forward to going to work again.  How is that for desperation?

I was going to drive to work in the evening after dinner just to see how my energy would hold up.  However, I felt a little tired after dinner and decided not to do it.  I guess that question was answered rather quickly.  Maybe we will try that again tomorrow a little earlier in the day.

Today was cold and gray.  I had a headache and I did not feel well.  I suppose I let my guard down and my I let my spirit be dampened - maybe by the weather.  I did not feel God's presence and my body seemed to react physically.

After dinner, Jan and I drove to my workplace.  I wanted to see if I had the energy to drive to work and drive back.  I was not sure I was really ready for it but I was determined to try.  In the course of driving there, I was distracted by the conversation Jan and I were having and soon discovered that I felt normal(ish).  We stayed at work for about an hour and cleaned up my desk from paper, dust, and various now stale food items.  Afterward, I drove home without a problem.

Today was a sunny, cheerful day.  I felt good all day.  It got even better when I got my lab results.  My hemoglobin count was 12.1.  In addition, I found out that my EKG and special blood test from last week both came back normal.  I was being tested for a blood disorder that one in a million people have.  Thank God I am not that special.

After feeling so awful yesterday, my spirit soared today.  I knew my lab results would be good hours before I learned what they were.  I could feel God's presence today whereas I felt distracted and disconnected yesterday.  What a difference a day makes!

I didn't think I would get to rake leaves this year.  I went outside with Jan and Anna and helped clear the last of the leaves from the yard.  I used the backpack blower so all I did was walk around and blow the leaves into a pile.  It was very satisfying to participate in one of my favorite autumn work activities.  I was only outside for about 30 minutes but, since my physical conditioning is less than stellar, I got tired quickly. 

Perhaps I wore myself out early but I did not feel particularly good today.  As always, I will hope for a better tomorrow.  The good Lord has never let me down. 

By God's good grace, my hemoglobin count continues to hold.  Today it was 11.9 and my reticulocyte count is dropping to a normal level.  As a result, my Prednisone quantity was decreased by another 20mg.  I would love to be steroid free by the end of the month.

Emma had the flu and stayed home from school.  Rather than having someone care for me, I had to take care of someone else.  That made me feel more normal.  However, I was extremely nervous being trapped in the house with the flu virus.  Poor Emma was miserable.  I was mostly concerned that my immune system would not be able to handle a virus.  I had to put my faith in God that He would keep me safe from this invisible enemy.

My hemoglobin number was 12.4 today - the highest it has been since early September.  I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving Day.  I am starting to feel normal although I still do not have a lot of energy and I tire easily.

Thanksgiving is not a day for watching football and eating a lot of turkey - although I must admit that is exactly what I do.  In fact, that is what makes it one of my favorite holidays.  No.  Thanksgiving is not a day for such things.  It is a day for thanking God for the many blessings in our lives.

What am I thankful for this year?  When I started this journal last September, and my future did not look very promising, I stated in the prefix of my journal that God would "once again bring me to victory."  At the time, those were hopeful words which seemed to run contrary to reality. 

On October 17th, I posted that I believed God had finally healed me.  At that time my hemoglobin count only was around 8.5 - almost 5 points lower than normal.  I posted what I believed so that when my hemoglobin count was normal, everyone would know that God answers prayer.  Faith is calling things which are not as though they were. 

Today, my hemoglobin count was 13.2.  God has a wonderful sense of humor.  At a time when we give thanks for His goodness, He let my hemoglobin count hit normal.  Thanksgiving Day will never be the same for me.  It has been a long, hard struggle but I believe that the worst of it is over.  Now I just need to slowly get my body back into shape.  The past 72 days have really taken a toll on my physical conditioning.

I haven't posted anything since Friday because there has not been anything to write about.  On Monday my hemoglobin dropped to 12.5 but today it rose to 13.3.  God willing, it will stabilize in the normal range within the next few days and my doctor will take me of the rest of the steroids I am on.

I have not posted anything in a while because there is noting exciting to write about.  My hemoglobin level is bouncing a bit but in the 13 range.  That is good but my hematologist must feel it is not good enough to cut off the steroids completely.  I am now down to 10mg of Prednisone a day.  That is good news.  I guess I am just getting impatient now.  I want this entire business behind me for good.

I was asked why I don't post any more updates in my journal.  It is because there is nothing out of the ordinary to write about.  For that I must thank God.  If I posted something every time I was thankful for God's mercies, I would never stop writing.  Now that I think about it, perhaps I should continue my journal.

Today my hemoglobin count was 14.3.  Things seem to be stabilizing in the normal range.  However, my hematologist wants everything absolutely stable before he has me stop my final 10mg of Prednisone.  I only do blood tests twice a week now.  I don't like needles and, after three years, still do not look when they poke me.

I have started going back to work full time but am still avoiding close contact with people.  Everyone seems to be sick and I can't get the flu shot because my hematologist does not want to mess with my immune system.  If I ask you to keep your distance or refuse to shake your hand, please understand that it is nothing personal.  My enemy is unknown, invisible, and  potentially lethal but you could be its carrier.

In case I don't post anything else this year, I wish you a Blessed New Year.

Happy New Year!  I thank God that I am alive to see another year.  I do not take such things for granted any more.  I now understand that each day is a gift from God.  I hope that you have a blessed and prosperous new year.

I went to see my doctor because of some stomach issues I had been experiencing. I was sure it would blow over but Jan urged me to see my doctor.

There was nothing wrong with my stomach but routine lab work showed that my platelets had dropped to 5000. Normal platelets range from 150,000 - 400,000.

The doctor called me within a few hours of my appointment and told me to go to the E.R. Instead, I called the hematologist on call at the hospital and asked for his opinion. He told me I could call the Lemon-Holton Clinic first thing in the morning unless bleeding occurs.

I had suspected that something was up for the past couple of days but I assumed it was just paranoia on my part. You do not feel anything when platelets drop. However, I kept nicking my face when shaving. That was what aroused my suspicions.

I went for my first IVIG yesterday. I am quite familiar with this treatment now. It takes about 6 hours when you combine the waiting and infusion time. I take my laptop and work from the hospital. I might as well stay productive while I am stuck at the clinic hooked to tubes.

I am feeling good. In fact, my stomach problems seem to be going away. While I am concerned, I am not afraid as I was the previous times. Perhaps it is because my hemoglobin is good. Hemoglobin drops will make you feel like crap and kill you in short order.

Perhaps this happened to put some intensity back into my prayer life. You tend to take your foot off the gsas when the pressure is off. Maybe this is a part of what God had in mind for me when Deshawn told me He had big plans for me. I have been praying for direction ever since. (If you don't know what that means seehttp://passionwind.com/saga2010/chronological.asp (9/16/2010).